Introduction by Pastor Tim
Many popular books and classes on child discipline often fail to adequately cover the full scope of the issue. The reason is that they start with a wrong view. They look at the child to understand the child. Some will try to digress by analyzing the styles of parents. But the Bible points to the Heavenly Father for understanding about children. He is the One who made them. He is the One who understands what is really best for them. When we start with The Father, then we can be better fathers and mothers. When we do that we will have successful children.
Let me begin with the basics. God made man in His image. We can understand ourselves better when we know God more. The Bible is the best source for understanding God and his creatures.
Now, let me make a simple observation. God made man as an adult. However, since then, mankind begins life as children. Although that is our starting point, we are born to be adults. Most cultures had children prepared by sixteen. We protect children sometimes until they are 26 or 30. We spend only 20% of our lifetime as a child. Yet, much of the approach from the world today is as if we spend 75% of our life as children.
Think about the focus of media, education, and family books. Certainly the foundation built as a child is crucial. However, to understand what really works and what is best for the child we must view the issue in the larger picture. Many of the modern theories and opinions on child rearing are based on studies of children. But looking at problems to solve problems is not necessarily the best way to approach matters. Many secular thinkers acclaim Sigmund Freud for his insights. But his research was based on the study of mentally unhealthy elderly women. Many of his conclusions are not compatible with the Bible. Most of his remedies are certainly not honoring to God.
Children are a gift from God. We need to trust Him for their life, progress, and success. Communication between the parents and their consistency in keeping their word and plans are essential for success. However, children are human, which, by definition implies creature-hood. In other words, children become adults who have choice over their own destinies. God made Adam as a perfect creature. But Adam failed miserably. Although he ended up all right there was a tremendous amount of grief and heartbreak. Cain was raised by near perfect parents in near perfect conditions and he failed and never recovered. So what we will learn together can tremendously help you and stack the odds in your favor.
Remember that you are dealing with creatures with a free will. Ultimately, trust God to be THE parent for your child, and you'll be much closer to having successful children than if you did it all on your own. It is very encouraging to remember that God entrusted His own Son to be raised by imperfect parents and He turned out perfectly!
