Concept #2 - Genesis 2:20b-25
The Unique Bond
There was a movie in the '60's entitled, "Yours, Mine, & Ours" with Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda. Both are widowed and decide to marry, she with 8 kids, he with 10. Then they have a couple of their own together. You can imagine with Lucille Ball involved that there are some pretty funny moments in all of the chaos. However, what we are told in Genesis 2 is that there is a unity and bond in marriage that displaces chaos and creates a oneness.
Many couples think that marriage is living together with a certificate. Just like roommates in college who are often thrown into a 'forced' co-existence, some think that marriage is just a social sanction upon an economic arrangement. In fact, our government now rewards those who do not marry with subsidies for each child they have out of wedlock. What kind of picture of God will these children have as their parent's partners rotate in and out of their lives? Even if they have their biological parents under the same roof, how can these children learn that true marriage is the death of "mine and yours" and the life of "ours"?
There are several key concepts in this Genesis 2:20b-25 passage that shutdown the modern concept of marriage and open honest eyes to the glory of God's unity and oneness.
First of all verses 20-23 teach us here that the male and female humans are uniquely suited to meet the others needs. When joined in marriage, the two are now one and there is no need or room for any others to complete that union. Adam declares that "this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." Instead of supplementing the marital relationship with things, activities, and additional relationships, the marital bond is sufficient to satisfy what is lacking in the individual. This helps us to see that the eternal triune God is completely self-sufficient and whole in of Himself. God did not need to make heaven and earth. He wanted to make it. He did not need mankind, He wanted mankind. This thought alone is mind boggling.
Secondly, verse 23b points out the interdependent relation of man and woman, husband and wife. Paul points this out in 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 "In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God." NIV. This concept maintains proper humility and the spirit of dependency in the hearts of both spouses. Theologians try to dissect the Trinity as if our minds can begin to grasp the immensity of God. But this concept helps us to understand that God has been Trinitarian for eternity. Each person in the Trinity needs the other. One is not 'better' than the others.
Thirdly, verse 24 points out the concept of abandonment to each other. The man is to leave his parents and cling to His wife. That word 'cling' means to stick together like skin and bones, like soldering. Here is the making of a union that can only be ended by death itself. Of which, God alone is the final sovereign. Romans 7:2 tells us that death is what terminates a marriage and nothing less. In the chapter about separation in marriage, the Bible states in 1 Corinthians 7:39 "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord." NIV
This is a concept that has been swept under the rug of convenience and lust. It has been glossed over. It is ignored all too often in the name of the feelings of individuals. Henry the VIII felt strongly about needing a son to take his throne and thus separated England's church from Roman authority simply to 'legally' dispense with the official title of marriage to 'legally' marry another. As Romans 7:2-3 plainly states, they were still married and were in a condition of adultery.
However, marriage is not about people's feelings and desires. It is about God. The bond of marriage creates one being just as God is three persons in one being. Since God is eternal we learn from this concept that the Trinity will not end at some point in divine history. This has great implication in terms of His relationship to us. When God makes a new creature of us through the reconciliatory work of Christ, that new creature has an everlasting relationship with the God Who made it. Nothing, the Bible declares in Romans 8:39 "will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Finally, in Genesis 2:25 we learn that this bond of marriage is so tight, so intimate, that there is everything is revealed between husband and wife. There is nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. When a spouse tries to hide something there is a seed for damage and hurt. Marriage has no room for dark secrets and unilateral decisions. The marriage bond forces the persons joined to share their opinions as such and defer their preferences for the betterment of their union. There is no longer room for mine and yours. It is all ours.
If the cancer of bitterness and secrets enter their way into the union, they must be dealt with as sin and removed before there is much damage. If they are left unchecked, then there is severe damage. There will be great turmoil. There will be cyclical heartbreak in that back and forth hurt and be hurt. But the marriage is still there and it is still alive as long as they both shall live. So seek help from God. Humble yourselves before His throne. Call upon Him for forgiveness and healing grace. But do not compound the problem by trying to add another individual into the marriage (adultery). That spouse who has hurt you so badly or let you down over and over again, is your spouse. No one can meet your needs rightly but that one.
That my friends, is this second part in the Theology of Marriage. It is all about God and the marriage union is a picture of the eternally perfect Triune God.
Next concept will be about the power of that unique bond…
